


Simple As That.

by blueberrytrain



Category: Servamp (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Kuro is being emo again, M/M, Self-Harm, i don't know how to title LMAO
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-27
Updated: 2016-11-27
Packaged: 2018-09-02 13:02:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8668588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueberrytrain/pseuds/blueberrytrain
Summary: Kuro usually bottles his emotions and resorts to /different/ means of treating them; however, he doesn't consider the effect it might have on his loved ones someday.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Um, hi! This is my first fanfiction of any kind since around 2012-13 or so... I hope this is alright! I'm very nervous about posting it since I've never written these characters before, but sloth pair is my favorite of the series so I couldn't resist. Please enjoy!

The blade moved swiftly across the skin that had just been cleaned, creating deep, _deep_ wounds that would certainly take any human weeks to finally heal. Blood seeped out thickly, dripping in large beads into the sink Kuro stood over. It was nearly 3:30 am, so read the clock the bathroom had. He stared blankly at his own wrists below him, taking care not to get any of his blood on the floor or plush foot carpet. It was almost a weekly routine, so he'd adjusted to the short-lived pain it inflicted. The vampire couldn't exactly remember how long he'd kept up said routine, however. Sure, Mahiru helped him a lot emotionally, in the past and constantly, but there were still things that lingered, still something that just couldn't be let go of. Kuro couldn't quite put his finger on it; one would call it depression, but it was more of an empty feeling that he couldn't just yet give a name. He was truly sloth, he could admit this and mean it.

One person wasn't going to take away _everything_ ; the damage was done. 

Kuro let out a small grunt as he pulled the blade across a particularly larger part of his veins, obviously going deeper than he'd intended. Meaning it'd take a bit longer to heal than the others. He dropped the bloodied blade he held, letting it fall to the sink with a small _clank_.

Tiredly, he rolled his eyes, and cursed to himself quietly because of his mistake. After moving the blade from the sink to the countertop, Kuro let out a sigh, and turned the knob on the faucet that indicated cold, and gently cleaned the wounds, scrubbing away with his thumb; only for the blood to force its way back up from the harmed flesh.

How troublesome.

But with the sound of the faucet, he missed the sound of sock-covered feet padding their way over to the bathroom doorway. Kuro had left the light off and the door open a crack, why should he bother going through the trouble of having the lights on at some ungodly hour in the morning just to do this kind of deed, if he can easily see everything in the night like a cat would? 

The door slowly opened, and in a quick moment, the light shot on and Kuro gripped his deeply, freshly cut wound, stopping dead in his tracks. Mahiru had just woken up to use the bathroom, but the sight he rested his eyes upon certainly ripped away any sleep left in him.  
Their eyes met, Kuro’s slightly widening as the blood flowing from his opened wrist dirtied his palm that currently gripped the shaking limb. Mahiru’s face going pale, he whispered a soft, ”Kuro…” to the servamp.

“Shit, Mahiru,” Kuro shakily said, reaching his hands out as if he was trying to catch his Eve’s face in his grip. Mahiru stumbled backwards, in disbelief of the scene. He scanned the room, noticing the reddened water that rushed down the sink drain, to the blade that had both fresh blood, that was collected so largely it was a black color, and bright red blood stains. Meaning he did this quite often without Mahiru knowing.

“W… What the hell is this?!” Mahiru kept walking backwards, until he hit the wall of the hallway in front of the bathroom door. He held his mouth to stop himself from hyperventilating for now. 

“Mahiru.. I can explain, God--”  
“Like hell you can! Goddammit, if I’d known you’d use my blades for this--”

He stopped himself mid-sentence, putting his hands to his face to hide himself. Tears began to run down his cheeks, and his shoulders shook with a force he’d not felt in years. His mother’s passing was when he last recalled feeling such a wave of despair, because he once again felt like he was losing another someone dear to his heart; this one even tied with his literal soul. Not in a physical sense, no… But a mental sense. Losing Kuro emotionally after all they’d been through, losing his trust, losing him as a servamp and partner. The longer he thought about it, the longer he failed to notice he’d made his way to the floor, curled up in his knees breathing heavily, sobbing. His arms and hands cradled his own head, and his face stared a deadly gaze onto Kuro’s bloodied wrists. 

Kuro, not letting go of his arm as to let it clot and stop bleeding so drastically, carefully and slowly made his way to the ground where the trembling Mahiru lay and cry.  
“Mahiru… Can you breathe alright?” he asked, attempting to touch his shoulder with his free hand and rub small circles with his thumb across the skin he held.

Mahiru shook his head; it was small but noticeable, and Kuro let out a sigh he didn't know he was holding.  
“Breathe slowly, Mahiru, look at me,” he said, facing Mahiru and looking him in the eyes as he tried to find a calming breathing pattern for the other to adjust to.

 _In… And out._ Over and over. Simple as that.

“Y-You really are a pain sometimes… Goddamnit…” Mahiru let out shakily after a long time, his crying not faltering despite the breathing exercise. Kuro let go of Mahiru’s arm, guilt moving through him like a million bullets. He'd never paid any mind to his actions; he always healed within hours so it was something kept easily hidden. Healing quickly was a good trait he had that helped Mahiru not to get hurt like he was in the moment. “I… Didn't think you would show up so suddenly..” Kuro’s words trailed off quietly, his eyes averting from the boy in front of him. Mahiru felt another violent shake take his body as he spoke up, his voice clearly breaking from the lump that refused to vanish from his throat. “Either way, Kuro… Why…?”

Kuro’s heart throbbed when Mahiru said his name like that. It wasn't the normal Mahiru, who always said his name with a cheerful laugh or a bitten tongue as he try not to scold the lazy cat any further. This was genuine hurt and worry that he caused and he hated it.

“...Internal problems are too much to deal with…” Kuro admitted.

Mahiru, subconsciously, brought his hand to touch Kuro’s face from where he sat, shakily petting his cheek. The vampire leaned into his touch and let out a shaky sigh, an almost inaudible sound erupting from his chest akin to a purr. “I-I know I push you a lot, b-but.. I want you to be able to trust me and talk to me, Kuro…” Mahiru sniffled and tried to wipe away the wetness that leaked from his nose.

“Mahiru… It's not as simple as you think it is, please under--”

“I just want to help, dammit!”

Kuro was taken aback at how loud the other was when he cut him off. The tears came down large, and Mahiru bit his lip so hard he could taste blood. He sat up a bit, sitting upright on his knees and clutching his chest. “You think just because you've been alive longer than me means I won't be able to handle anything you tell me?! Is that it to you…?!”

“N-No, I just--”

“I love you, Kuro! More than I've loved anyone in a long time! And seeing you resorting to something so terrible hurts me, because it means I wasn't able to be there for you! I know you can't die but God-- I can't lose you either, you know!”

Kuro was frozen in place, he wasn't sure of what to say or do. And it didn't help that talking wasn't even his forte in heavy situations… He too began to feel heavy tears sting his cheeks as they rolled. “I-I'm sorry, Mahiru…” He said quietly, almost inaudible. The lump in his throat caused his speech to sound swollen and choked as well as Mahiru did.

“I know I can't force it out of you. But… You didn't even try… I didn't know…” The brown haired boy watched the wounds Kuro had let go of at some point, as they slowly closed up. How long had the two of them been there? It didn't feel like very much time.

Kuro stared down at his Eve’s head, now bowed down and gazing at the floor below his knees. He should probably say something, anything, really.  
_You made him hate you,_ the demon taunted, _He probably feels lied to and betrayed, no?_

The vampire slapped his face softly, shaking away the darker thoughts that began to cloud his vision over. For once he listened to the demon’s taunt and suggestion, and spoke up to his partner to voice his feelings like the other wanted.  
“I… I know. And I regret it.” The boy below looked up. Kuro scratched his cheek, clearly looking for the correct words. Mahiru waited patiently as well. “I just… Am used to things like this. Even after Tsubaki, after you helped me face my past… It was hard to really tell myself you.. Cared. That you… Loved me. I haven't had that. This has.. Been my life, really. As hard as it is to tell you, I still find it hard to want to live. I'm sorry if… If you feel as if I lied to you. O-Or something.” He swallowed thickly.

Mahiru leaned up, shakily grabbing his servamp’s hands and pulling him into a tight hug, with his arms clutching his upper back. “I'm sorry that I yelled, Kuro… And I'm sorry you've felt the way you did.” Kuro rested his hand on the shorter boy’s lower back, and shoulder, embracing him, burying his face into his neck. “It's… Alright, Mahiru. And I'm sorry for scaring you like this…”

Kuro took Mahiru into his lap, and moved against the wall to sit. They both ceased to move for an amount of time unnoticed. It was already late… They didn't really care for how long they stayed in each other's arms.  
Both of them slowly came down from the crying spell, their heads pounding from the pressure.

“Hey… Kuro…?”

“...Yes?” Mahiru snickered quietly when he felt the other talk against his neck.

“I really do love you.”

Kuro hugged him closer, letting his tears spill out of his own eyes. His voice was shaky and choked again, but this time he couldn't find the motivation to care.

“Y-Yeah… I love you, too, MahiMahi…”

**Author's Note:**

> All feedback is welcome, I wish to write more soon, so I would love to improve!! Thank you very much!


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